May 31, 2009

Thoughts on the World Cheerleading Championship

My boyfriend and I were flipping through the channels this morning. It's always difficult to find something to watch on Sundays. Have you noticed that? Anyways, we had to settle for the World Cheerleading Championships at Walt Disney World. And after watching it for half an hour, I have some serious questions about the sport of cheerleading:
  1. Why does the background music always consist of one line of fifty different songs, instead of longer parts of only 5 songs? The songs change so fast, you almost can't tell what song every single line pertains to.
  2. Why do the girls wear skirts over their granny panties? The skirts always flip up and then the girls spend half their performance rolling them back down. They could just wear the bottoms without the skirt and really no one would notice the difference.
  3. Do they get points for smiling? Because it seems like every time they lift their heads, every cheerleader has to have this really surprised look on their face. Why else would they be doing it if not to acquire points?
  4. If #3 is true, why does a smile get you point-wise? I mean, compared to the tosses and flips and pyramids and crap, how many points does every single smile get? And can you get deductions for forgetting to smile? Seems so unnatural.
  5. And finally, why does Walt Disney World support this? My boyfriend says it's because South Park was right: Disney sells sex to little giiirls.
I turned off the World Championship of Cheerleading because it confuses and depresses me.

May 30, 2009

The Whiteboard of Publishing

Upon Sarah's request to hear about publishing from the other side.
Since I recently gained a plethora of knowledge about how Word documents become a physical book, I utilized the whiteboard (after erasing a bunch of Physics problem sets, bwaha) and listed the 23 1/2 steps of publishing in more or less a correct order, along with side notes relating to and expanding on certain points.
Attendance was unusually low yesterday, so Britta took some pictures of my masterpiece so anyone who missed can still get the notes.





For larger versions, visit my Flickr.

May 23, 2009

Week #8

This week, we had a guest lecturer, Robin Tiffney! And in addition to bringing homemade brownies and lemon bars, she imported a wealth of knowledge to our class.
She handed out a 4-page summary of tips and insights to the world of publishing to start out. It includes lists of helpful books and websites that can help writers with a myriad of tasks such as finding an agent and choosing an editor.
Robin stressed, first and foremost, the importance of writer's groups. Writer's groups, she explained, are like marriages. Sometimes you don't get along with the people in your group, or you don't like what they're writing, and it's hard for you to do it but you have to tell them the truth because you are married and honesty is the only policy. This means that you should choose your writing peers carefully. Pick people whose criticism you take well and whose opinions and writing you respect, because in theory, once you pick your writers, the only way to get out involves a massive amount of paper shuffling and exchanging. Something akin to divorce.
A lot of publishing and writing for that matter is comparable to love life. Not only do you enter into a polygamous relationship with the members of your writing group, but you must also seduce agents and editors into long-term affairs on the side. This can be very tricky considering many agents have their own agendas or do not have time to give you what you deserve. Just like having an affair, you need to find someone that is not going to run off and start another affair with the next hot blond that walks down that block. Your agent needs to have your best interests at heart and that's a difficult thing to discern in people in general. The contract your draw up with your agent should include an escape clause that allows you a somewhat simple way out if the relationship turns sour. A good place to meet agents is at conferences, which agents specifically attend to sort out who is a whack job and who is not (ok, Robin used the word 'kook' instead of 'whack job' but I'm paraphrasing). Editors also attend writing conferences but a relationship with an editor is almost more like one with a prostitute at these conferences; you usually have to pay extra to talk to them in person, but it can be worth it if you hit gold and get an editor that you really like that could really help your work get to that next level, for a good price, of course. But because of the immediate pay-off, editors are easier to acquire. Agents, however, have to be literally seduced by a "pitch" of your work. It should be one sentence, maybe two, maybe three, that explains very concisely your motive in writing your novel, or what have you. It should detail the emotional arc that the character(s) go through and it should have a hook in it. These pitches can be submitted in person or by mail. Although many manuscripts go straight to the recycling bin at the agent's office, agents do read the pitch letter atop your bulky manuscript. The book Making the Perfect Pitch by Katharine Sands was offered up as a good tool for "honing pitch letters" to be as effective as possible. It could be the difference between a polygamous marriage and a polygamous marriage plus a long-term, hot and heated affair on the side. And as everyone knows, more is better.
Robin made a point of saying that contests are worth checking out for several reasons: there are thousands so the more you enter, the better your chances are. It's like buying raffle tickets. If you win, as long as the amount you profited from contest is more than the amount you spent entering contests and submitting work, you can deduct your expenses from your taxes. But you should never submit to contests whose judges are yet to be appointed or not named. You can tell a lot about what a contest is looking for in the winning piece judging by the people they've picked to judge. Also, contest winners get more publicity and recognition than those who are simply in print in random journals across the world. The cash pay-off doesn't suck either.
Robin went into detail about strategies of publishing that I found very insightful. She addressed the issue of simultaneous submissions first. Although some places may say they don't accept simultaneous submissions, you should submit anyways. In fact, Robin suggested, you should be submitting to 5 places simultaneously whether they accept simultaneous submissions or not, just to keep your work circulating. In the case that something gets accepted at one place, you simply send a letter of withdrawal to every other place it was sent to, and the staff is never the wiser.
Publishing short stories, she said, is like a gateway into the world of publishing. You start small
and work up to writing longer stuff. If you start out with a novel with nothing published prior, no one will take you seriously. However, a "track record" of shorter pieces already published will attract more agents and publishers to a novel quicker.
Rejection slips should not be dwelled upon too much, Robin also offered up. A lot of publishing turns out a lot like working with politicians: a rejection slip from anyone (an agent, a publisher, a journal, etc.) that blatantly expresses genuine interest in your work, but just not in the stuff they sent you, is an open door. You can always go back and send them new stuff and you can count on the fact that they will be looking for your name in that stack of submitted work.
One of the biggest pointers Robin gave us was that getting published is about keeping your name out there any way you can. If you know people in publishing, tell them you're writing. Even if they do not personally have a use for your stuff, they probably know someone that does. This can be a big help in getting your stuff salvaged from the slush pile. Just make sure you give them your best stuff. Once you get published for the first time, it's also important to establish a web presence; create a blog or a web site because people will start googling you.

Among her lists of useful resources were the following:
Finding out about prospective agents: (1) (2) (3) (4)
Making the Perfect Pitch by Katharine Sands
Write Ways to Win Writing Contests by John Reid

All in all, this meeting was extremely successful and Robin Tiffney is not only well-versed in the ways of the publishing realm, but she also has unbelievable prowess in the genre of science fiction. Hers is a good brain to pick.

May 22, 2009

The wide, wide world of publication

For the past two weeks, I have been holed away in the cave that is the CCS computer lab putting together the collection of short stories from the Short Short Fiction class. With the help of my good friend Britta, who taught me how to use InDesign (and a Mac, for that matter) in just two hours, I began my epic first creation in the world of the books.
I have to say I thought it would be harder, although it probably helped to have someone showing me what to do instead of having to figure the program out by myself, as Britta did years ago. But now that I know how to use InDesign, I'm seriously considering paying the couple hundred dollars to buy the program. It's really, really cool. You can do so much with it and after you're done, printing your book at Kinkos is really, really cheap.
First, I tried out several different fonts (ok, every single one) before deciding with Britta's suggestion on Adobe Caslon Pro. Adobe Caslon Pro is a little old-fashioned, but also looks professional and reads really well on a page. Even in smaller scale, the typeface is readable. That's a sign of a great professional font, to me.
Using a basic mock-up which consisted of a couple blank pieces of paper folded together (another great strategy I picked up from Britta), I decided on using running headers that would print the author's name on the top left and the title of the story on the top right.
After I decided on a style, we set out creating master pages that would keep the style consistent but easy to adhere to when placing the stories. It took some fiddling around, but we figured out that the running headers needed to be placed on the masters and in order to change the running headers for each author's story, the easiest thing to do was to create a new master for every story. A title page master was created separately to exclude running headers on the title pages.
With the name Short Shorts, a wingding pair of scissors seemed oddly fittingly. Placed between the title and its author and the start of the piece, it was a simple way to add extra personality to the journal through the title page.
Once all the pieces were placed, a real feat considering the layout relies on other people to submit electronic versions of their stories in a timely manner, the tiny, tiny things were attended to: putting double spaces between every new sentence, making sure all quotes were curly, not straight and boring, all dashes and hyphens were the same size, all those fun things.
The hardest parts were the imposition of the pages and adjusting the cover so it will come out fine no matter how it is lined up over the bound pages. The imposition we achieved (finally) using InBooklet SE on InDesign. We found that exporting InDesign files is often a little quirky because InDesign has default settings that mess with bleeds and margins of the pages. But after we discovered where and what those were and fixed them, everything came out great. The imposition was doen by printing to a PostScript file, then converting the PS file to a PDF.
The cover was finished mainly through actual size comparisons between the screen and an 8 1/2 x 11 printed copy of the cover. Knowing the cover would be lined up on the back, I formatted the front picture and text using measurements that would account for the spine of the book. I estimated the spine using an example that was an 80 page book. Knowing mine was 60, I guessed and adjusted the cover photo accordingly.
Despite massive printing problems that even my nerdiest friends could not solve, I completed my print-out of my final project at 12:49AM this morning and fell asleep in my niiiice warm cozy bed around 2AM.
The final project looks pretty spiffy, if I do say so myself.
The test copy should be in on Tuesday and I can't wait!

A big thanks to everyone that helped me survive this project

May 18, 2009

Education: a time for work or a time for play?

Today I had a meeting with my new faculty adviser. She is the type of person that would memorize the dictionary and feel inclined to hand everyone she comes in contact with a list of words they must know in order to "survive in the real world". Thus, going into this meeting, I knew she was actually going to advise me on what I should be taking next quarter, rather than just nodding her head when I listed the classes I wanted to take.
I was looking forward to reading some more Proust. My first attempt was hearty but short-lived. Proust is a toughy. Although I enjoyed the parts I had the time to study, I figured a true delving would have to wait until retirement. Then this class appeared like a twenty dollar bill on the ground; what an opportunity. There is nothing like a ten-week course to force you through something you know you should be hit with.
I also thought The Tales of Genji would be a nice followup to my travels in Japan this summer. The prospect of reading two huge novels, I admit, did cause me to recoil at first, but after War and Peace and The Brothers Karamazov in one quarter, nothing could compare.
I am desperately trying to finish all my French courses for the double major before I graduate, however my hope was growing dim when I looked at the course offerings and saw a grammar course I need to take, one course I took abroad, one course that looked interesting but was in English and conflicted with the grammar course, and a few classes on random topics that did not intrigue me at all.
I have already given up continuing with Greek next year. Falling behind every other day because I can only attend half the classes is getting annoying. Luckily I didn't have to actually make this decision because Greek 14 was canceled due to budget cuts and lack of professors to go around.
The fact that I forgot my advising slip, already detailing out which courses I wanted to take, was probably not helpful to the situation.
In any case, my adviser sat down with me and began by asking me what track I was on. Upon hearing I was on the creative writing track, headed for a Creative Writing MFA program, she proceeded to list off classes I had yet to even hear of that I had to take.
Experimental Prose sounds really cool, but conflicts with my French grammar class.
The Memoir class also sounds really great, but I've already taken a memoir class.
French Grammar is not required for my minor but I have this fantasy of taking all the classes for the French major and just not receiving a diploma with a double-major on it because I don't want to take Writing 2.
Literature and Visual Art does not interest me at all, but apparently that means I should take the class because it will expand my horizons.
I trudged home and attempted to fix my schedule, molding into the new, reformed, advised version of me, only to find that all the classes I was going to switch in to conflicted with one another.
After an hour of toiling over department course listings and GOLD searches modified by instructor, days of the week and times, I finally ended up with the following schedule:

Comparative Literature 188: Narrative Studies M W 12:30-1:45

CCS Literature: Experimental Prose T R 1-2:30

CCS Literature: Memoir TR 2:30-4
Twelve units seems measly, and perhaps I will add one more. I did sent an insistant email to the professor of that Lit and Visual Art class in french. Maybe I'll get in to that despite my lack of prereqs.

All this has made me think:
  • Is school meant to be fun, or to be purposeful but not necessarily enjoyable.
  • Does your education mean more if you take classes you're not interested in just to challenge yourself?
  • Just because you take classes you want to take, does that mean you aren't being challenged?
  • Are you wasting your money if you take classes because you're told to?
CCS sure breeds us to think so, but not all professors adhere to the same ideology.
So, I made a compromise, signing up for one class I'm not particularly thrilled about while also taking a few classes I really want to take. It will just figure when I find the classes I am eager about totally suck and the class I thought I wouldn't like is the best class I've ever taken.

It would just figure.




May 15, 2009

the week of seven sins

1. Tabor is spazzing out to "Super Freak". It's 80's day in colloquium class.
2. Desmond is missing class because he fell asleep on the bus and ended up on State Street.
3. We found Spectrum's listing on PW.org and it's lame. Made a note to add some color pictures to it and some more useful info in order to get a jump on reclaiming Spectrum's national reknown.
4. The Lit couple seemingly broke up as they are not sitting next to each other in class anymore. And it's only been three weeks.
5. I didn't finish reading The Grapes of Wrath because I hate it.
6. Almost everyone in my class has used up their two absences, some more.
7. Nothing is better than drowning stress in alcohol.

May 13, 2009

1st rejection!

Tonight, I received my first rejection letter from Boxcar Poetry Review. No hard feelings, guys. It was pretty cool, a bit of initiation, if you will. It reads as follows:

Thank you for submitting your work to Boxcar Poetry Review. We have read your submission with interest, but have decided not to publish these particular poems. We appreciate your efforts and wish you all the best in your writing and publishing endeavors.

Warmest regards,
Editor

Sort of nice, if you ask me.
Out of the seventeen places I've submitted to, this is the only one I've heard back from.

May 1, 2009

Week #5

Barry joined us today to offer up some wisdom and insights into the world of publishing. A published author several novels and a great many literary magazines over, he definitely has a wealth of knowledge and we got to pick his brain for an hour.

Some things that came up were:
  • using Post-Its as cover letters with a quick note such as "Dear Editors, Hope you have time to look over some of my stuff, Signed" to show, in effect, you've done this before
  • keeping track of submissions using hard copies which enables several drafts of the same piece to be kept on file even after the computer file has been revised
  • agents being necessary to get book contracts but otherwise generally obsolete people in most other types of publishing (especially the kind we are doing, sending our stuff out ourselves to smaller names)
  • not hoarding your "best piece" hoping it will be published in The New Yorker because you will write better things as time goes by so don't get too attached. The publishing process is about letting this child of sorts out into the world and you have to have faith. You can always make another baby whenever you want something to dote on
  • you are your most efficient marketer, publisher, etc.
  • Barry's blog, Poetry Matters
  • using numerous rejections of the same piece as hints that the piece may need more work
  • the convenience of email/electronic submission and its pros and cons (pro=easy, fast; con=so easy more people are submitting which ups the competition)
It was a day filled with fruit baskets of knowledge!

Barry also shared with us some other resources for writers seeking places for publication in addition to the ones on Poets&Writers.org: